OKAY - So a week is a really long time on SSI

I promised several entries since my last one on the 11th of July 1972 - sorry 2007 - however, it got cooler and I had to paint the deck, worked on this and that and whatever else came our way. However, mostly I just have not found the energy to sit down and spew at you good folks.

It is very important that a couple of things are cleared up. My little animal that ended my last posting, which caused no end of upset particularly with the lady readers, I should explain that my friend is real and actually now visits on a regular basis. We sit on a bench by the water's edge listening to the ebb of the ocean's heart and share stories and buckets of gossip. Her name (yes she is a grand ole girl that was rather mistreated by her male siblings during a genetic experiment they did in the the bowels of their parents home) is Pricilla Petrus. She hates it and would prefer Prissy Pussy but I said no!

The brothers, Innes and Pinnes, were rather unassuming psycho cases; you have all read about these types usually roaming high schools or seen in shopping malls mumbling to themselves over the decision of which fast food sugar hit they will next make. A few things to know about the boys. Though they claim to be someones sons they are actually born from an egg styled pod which is randomly laid by loonies that can't keep their hands out from under their nighties. This randomness allows for complete anonymity by the parent.

Ironically, when things do go bad some woman type comes forward. They usually have head hair that you could fry eggs on, none or very few teeth, and a beer belly. Their postal address is a unit and parking lot number. Of course they have been misled by their junky PR manager who has assured them they are on the cusp of being famous. They have never seen a picture of Elizabeth Taylor - not even at her worst - so they are somewhat lost in the oleo of life.


My friend, Pricilla, who did live through the tortures of these pesty little varmits, actually has quite the story - but this we will go over in time. I do want to share with you how she appears to the public when she's not be convinced to drop her clothing for a photo shoot. Little does she know that it has been done before. Here's the picture:



Seen it before? Amazing what a little bit of makeup and a twist of hair can do for a half dog/half human gene experiment. I know it looks similar to Audrey but in my little world every female does. It really helps me get around the fat ugly ones. Many of you may also remember the coat I once wore in her memory (a rather camp time and not one on a lake).

As for her family pod here's a little shot of them, they don't seem all that bad but again loads of plasticine has been used here:


Just your average North American family? - well what about:


If you notice there is a light on behind the mother's head - this is an indication that she just got the idea to go out and eat mice. The boys, of course paranoid of this woman, are laughing in that uneasy rodent fashion that seems to be a main characteristic of this great clan.

I have as yet not been able to find a recipe featuring mice - of course I wouldn't these people do not know how to read or write. They use noises only decipherable by single cell organisms Their sex lives are similar

Topic Two


I found it very disappointing that some of you didn't get the reason behind the visit to the hospital. Those that did please pour yourselves a drink - it will slowly kill you.


I've not had problems with things other than people asking how I'm feeling. The ole joke "with my hands" is too passe so I've got these new ones:


"Not sure I'm still very numb in some areas"


"Obviously it's not obvious to you that I have a ticking clock around my neck"


"Didn't really feel unwell, just had a craving to visit a hospital full of loonies - I had nothing on that week nor did they"


"Would you still have asked me that question if I used blush?"


"Much better since losing the tumour during a dream - a rather damp one I might point out"


"Still rather angry that I spent so much money (UKL) and still I'm going to make my 50th"


I do, however, feel that you get a slight aura around oneself when people are thinking to themselves and mumbling those great adjectives: drunk, alkie, loser, down and out (sorry that was more than one word) but in my stoic leper fashion I carry on I've got aura. It's not one that is going to open the gates of heaven I assure you. It's been remarked that that I shouldn't spit into other people's drinks if I really do have leprosy. There are just too many PC rules around. It really kills the fun and scaremongering.


In actual fact my Friends and Family have been very kind. All they get back is some kind of 3rd class sense of humour and some hurt feelings. They are such sports - many many thanks.


Might I note that the homeless on Robson Street in Vancouver don't really care.


So we have no pics this week on the house - proper ones are being done this coming week and we'll forward the link once available. We're pretty pleased with the outcome - the question is will someone be so kind to hand over the dosh? We hope to be on the market by next weekend.


Other updates in Christmas card mode:


We had a wonderful visit with my brother and his delightful wife Deborah and our friend Bryan has come to visit and work on the project as his holiday pastime. Some regrets may exist in his mind on that one. We're still having delays in the balance payment from the buyer of Hundred Hills House over the septic. We feel he's blessed to have our old septic as many people go without. The rest of the families are well. We enjoy life on Saltspring so very very much and have taken up knitting, needle working, and charitable works. People wave as we pass, we don't understand what they are saying as we are only now conversing in Portuguese in preparation for our humanitarian stint on the beach in Brazil.




Stoically,
Px